18 WAYS JENNY MADE TYLER THE MAN HE IS TODAY

Tyler turns 18 today. But, in my mind, Tyler's been a young man for years. At age three he helped me remove the air dam from my Saab. At age four he installed a fan in his room. He intelligently wired his room at age 12 and at that same age he helped me sift through my grandparents' documents in Hong Kong. At 15 he set up the security system and cameras for my parents' then-vacant house.

It was Jenny, more than anyone else in the world, who made Tyler who he is today. Some of this was through her actions, but a lot of it was through her DNA. From the beginning, everyone had Tyler pegged as a Ko baby. On the outside, he's a spitting image of Jenny's brother Andrew and on the inside, he's all Jenny. He has so many of her admirable traits, in fact, that I've come to treat him as my confidant. I seek his opinion every day and often ask him to pre-read my emails before I send them--just like I did with Jenny.

So, here are 18 ways Jenny made the man we know as "Tyler", or as we've been calling him at home, "Jenny 2.0".

1. Kip's. From his work behind the counter at Kip's (photo below), a sports card store in Los Altos, Tyler has had enriching experiences that will stay with him. These include interacting with adults, dealing with difficult customers, problem solving and discovering how a business is run. It all started from Jenny spotting this job opening on Nextdoor and encouraging Tyler to check it out. Tyler got the job just minutes after the interview started.

2. Plants. Tyler has emerged as the primary caregiver for Jenny's plants. This turned into a newfound hobby for Tyler. In fact, several of her plants and cuttings have been thriving in his room. Tyler's care for Jenny's plants, which she loved so much, has done as much as anything else we've to preserve her memory.

3. Baseball. Jenny initiated Tyler‘s interest in baseball by signing him up to play in a rec league when he was in first grade. She promoted this interest by befriending other baseball moms and attending all of his games. Tyler stuck with Pony for seven years and baseball is now a lifestyle for him. He became an umpire and a coach. Find Tyler anytime between April and October and he will update you on the division races and who's leading the league in ERA, wins, saves, batting average and home runs. Do you have a favorite team? Tyler will give you the latest.

4.Science Olympiad. Tyler had never heard of SciOly when Jenny discovered it at his high school. She recognized that the organization would provide a competitive environment for Tyler to use his skills, especially as a builder. Though Tyler medaled in numerous national SciOly competitions, the long term benefit is what it has done for his self-confidence.

5. Driving. Tyler got his driver's license only after driving with a permit the required 50 hours. Jenny helped Tyler reach this requirement by getting up at 6:30 on Saturdays and Sundays to go driving with him. She had to wake up that early because Tyler was the first to rise in the family and Jenny accommodated his schedule. As an incentive, Jenny would take Tyler to a bakery to pick out breakfast. Jenny also found Tyler's driving instructor, who did a job good enough such that Tyler passed his behind-the-wheel on his first try.

6. Music from the 1970s and 1980s. It's no coincidence that Tyler's favorite period in music is the same as Jenny's. Tyler's entire life has been a lesson on Motown, The Stones, The Beatles, Elton John and even Bubblegum Pop. And, it's all because of Jenny. Of the three men in the house, Tyler can stand silence the least. So, he'll go to Jenny's playlist on Spotify and rock the house to Fleetwood Mac, ABBA or any other music from Jenny's childhood.

8. Piano. Though Tyler played viola for a short time, his main musical instrument was piano. For this, Jenny promoted his development by finding an amazing local piano teacher (this took a few tries). Also, by playing piano regularly herself, Jenny provided daily motivation for Tyler. Although Tyler stopped taking piano lessons, he has a background that will stay with him for life. And, he tells me he will pick up the instrument again sometime after college.

9. Interest in engineering. Giving Tyler Tinker Toys and Snap Circuits. Bringing Tyler to the Children's Discovery Museum in San Jose, the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, Helix in Los Altos, The Tech in San Jose, the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. Finding and registering for an endless stream of science summer camps and hands-on coding classes. This is a small sampling of activities Jenny drove for Tyler to enhance his interest in STEM. Maybe most moms in our community do this for their kids. Maybe not. The point is, Jenny did more to feed Tyler's interest in engineering than anyone else. Hands down. Tyler is applying to college as a mechanical engineering major.

10. Community service. Jenny made it an expectation for Tyler give his time to the community since an early age. She helped him with this by finding opportunities for him. These included volunteering at soup kitchens, leading a robotics group at an under-represented elementary school and repairing used bicycles to be given to those in need. I would argue everything Tyler ever did for his community can in some way traced back to Jenny.

11. Diet. From the time Tyler was a baby, Jenny made it an expectation that he eat vegetables regularly. To this day, Tyler makes it a point to have vegetables with every dinner. 'Nuff said.

12. Cooking. There are many reasons why I believe Tyler's future family will be very fortunate, but one is he enjoys cooking. This trait definitely came from Jenny, who taught Tyler how to cook. In fact, when Jenny was tired after a long day or was out of town, it was always Tyler who stepped up to prepare dinner for the family. In fact, on Tuesdays and Thursdays when Tyler has a break from school in the middle of the day, he comes home to cook me lunch. A favorite is ramen with egg and fatty pork.

13. Taste in TV. Tyler originally did not enjoy watching comedies on Netflix with the rest of his family. However, thanks to Jenny‘s persistence, Tyler not only began watching TV with his family, but eventually became a driver on weekend nights to get the family together to watch comedies. His favorite series is Parks and Recreation.

14. Calmness under pressure. Jenny's dad told me of the story where Jenny won a high-stakes spelling bee in fifth grade while staying as cool as a cucumber. in fact, of all the people I know, Tyler and Jenny demonstrated the most equanimity in challenging moments. For Tyler it was seen in build competitions against the clock, where not everything would go as planned. At home, he has the coolest head in the house, frequently acting as peacemaker whenever a temper or two gets lost. Calmness, by the way, wasn't learned, but rather gifted to Tyler through Jenny's DNA.

15. Early to bed, early to rise. Jenny never pulled an all-nighter in college, preferring to get rest when tired and getting back to work in the morning when refreshed. Jenny likewise encouraged us to go to bed when we were tired even if we had a lot of work to be done. This has become Tyler's approach. As challenging and time-consuming as high school can be, he goes to bed whenever his eyelids get heavy and will set the alarm clock for early the next morning.

16. Loyalty (to the Oakland A's). Tyler's a loyal guy. That said, it's easy to be loyal to, say, his friends because they're so awesome. But loyalty to the Oakland A's? Well, that's a little harder. It was because of Jenny that Tyler became an Oakland A’s fan. She took him to A's baseball games, watched and listened to games with him from home and took him to Fan Fest every February so he could meet the players. During the season, it didn't matter if the A's were out of the playoff race and down by seven runs in the ninth. He listened and cheered for the A's until the final out. It was an admirable demonstration to see.

17. Social network. I wish my parents had done for me what Jenny did for Tyler when it came to friends. When Tyler made a friend in elementary school, Jenny would make it a point to get to know their mom and meet with her on a regular basis. This enhanced Tyler's friendships by getting more frequent playdates and earning trust between families. Today, I feel completely comfortable--even happy--whenever Tyler is at a friend's house no matter what the hour. Moreover, those friendships starting from elementary school will last a lifetime.

18. Confidentiality. Think of Tyler's storage of secrets as a steel vault stashed away underneath a very tall mountain. He got this trait from his mom, who made a living protecting confidential information and mentoring others how to do so. Also, Tyler doesn't judge. As such, he's seen as the one person anyone can talk to with complete confidence and comfort.