With the boys often not wanting to hang out with their parents, I told my therapist about the ploys Jenny would use to engage her sons. My therapist then replied, "Clever girl!" and told me I needed to mention them in the her eulogy. On a daily basis she pulled out tricks from her sleeve to get the boys to spend time with her without their even realizing it was all a part of the plan.
Some of her secrets: 1) Start a crossword puzzle in the middle of the day and spread it on the dinner table. It’s emphasized here that the puzzle has to be started so the kids have enough letters in place to get warmed up. (They would never want to start a puzzle on their own.) The Sunday edition of the Mercury News had three puzzles to choose from and Jenny would start all of them. It was fascinating to watch the boys drift over throughout the day as if pulled by a magnet to hang out with their mom. 2) Listen to NPR or a current-events podcast on your own sometime before dinner. Ah, dinner! It was often the most awkward time of the day, when the kids were usually tired with little to say to their parents. The deafening silence made the dinner table such a dreadful environment. That changed, though, when Jenny found podcasts with content the kids would be interested in or would at least prompt a reaction. Jenny asked questions based on what she learned from the podcast and gently led a discussion. "How much do you think a teacher makes?", "Do you think current gun laws are keeping us safe?" (That one began such an impassioned conversation that it nearly started a riot at our house.) 3) Wash some fruit and place it nearby. Dylan was especially susceptible to this one. He has always loved fruit but didn't have the energy to wash any. Jenny took advantage of this by washing apples, berries and grapes and putting the bowl right next to her. It consistently worked like a charm. 4) Jigsaw puzzles! They were mostly popular during the height of COVID. Jenny was normally pretty restrictive when it came to ordering non-consumables online (mostly because she didn't like things accumulating in the house). But, the kids loved them and she let them go bonkers on Amazon.
5) Word games on the phone such as Spelling Bee, Wordle, etc. The big advantage of this one is that because it's based on a phone app, Jenny got to be physically close to her boys. This was especially effective with Dylan, who often preferred the solitude of a small couch. Jenny would lure him over by telling him she needed help with a word game on her phone. She actually didn't need help at all--she was invincible at such games without any assistance.
6) Play games involving the whole family! This is a topic for a future blog post. :)
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